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  • Writer's pictureJamie Jamitkowski

How to Date

Updated: Apr 10, 2020

I have a niece and a nephew both whom are:

Successful. Independent. Outgoing. Single. In their early 30’s.

In a world of Twitter, Swiping, Google and a vast internet of resources and guidance, surely they are all set, right?


For some reason, both of these two people I described regularly reach out to me for information on dating. Why they would reach out to their 60+ year old aunt for dating advice is beyond me, but they do.

Granted, I am a great listener. I’ve always known that men and women are very different in many ways - particularly when it comes to emotions and sex. But I must say, I am SHOCKED at how the sexes look at dating today. I can assure you I thank GOD that I dated way back when Dinosaurs roamed the earth.

So after speaking to other singles in their late 20’s & 30’s, I have learned the following:

  • Dating is much more difficult than it used to be

  • First dates are awkward

  • On dates, most often the bill is “split”

  • Texting not talking is the preferred method of conversing

  • Men expect some form of sex after 3 dates

  • Having sex - means actual intercourse. All other methods (including oral sex) are not considered sex. (This may have been some sort of Presidential Executive Order somewhere along the way.)

  • In terms of Commitment - Men are taking it really slow

  • In terms of Commitment - Women want it quickly

  • In terms of Sex - Men want it quickly

  • In terms of Sex - Women are taking it really slow

  • Dating sites have been a blessing and a curse

  • There are absolutely no guidelines to follow with this new age dating!

So I have created the Dating Alphabet. It is the checklist for dating. If, at anytime, the pattern is not followed, it might be time to move on. If it is followed precisely it could very well lead to marriage.

Here it is:

The Alphabet Dating Game

A Acquainted and Attracted

B Both decide there’s “something”

C Casual Connection --Let’s C each other again

D Dating

E Enjoy each other

F You’re Having FUN

G Going out Often

H Hmmmm you’re really Happy together

I Invite each other to meet friends

J He wants to JUMP into Bed --she say’s JUST too soon


L Could it be LOVE????

M Make it Monogamous

N NOW it might be getting serious

O Both OPEN to meet the famlly

P Passionate playfulness --still no SEX

Q QUITE enjoyable

R You both decide --you’re in a RELATIONSHIP



U U are both in Utopia!

V VERY seriously in love

W You’re talking -- WEDDING & you are …

X X-static

Y YOUR dreams have come true….

Z Zen - You have both found the spirit that brings peace and balance to your life

In case you are at all confused--let me give you the Readers Digest Version

The 8 Stages to Marriage

  1. Meet

  2. Date

  3. Talk not Text

  4. Monogamous Dating

  5. Relationship

  6. Commitment

  7. Engagement

  8. Marriage

And my advice to all women - remember YOU are the Princess Prize – the frog needs YOU to become a prince, you don’t need him to turn you into a frog!

And my advice to all women - remember YOU are the Princess Prize – the frog needs YOU to become a prince, you don’t need him to turn you into a frog!

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